TGBKA Day 45: 17 PAGES AND NOT ONE F-BOMB DROPPED...

I'm really hoping this will be my final installment on The Passport Lady. Honestly, I kind of feel like this blog has been one big whine-fest about her, and I am quite tired of dealing with her. I'm tired of talking about her. I'm tired of even thinking about her. But I have had a couple dozen people ask for an update so here we go. 

First, I wanted to let some time lapse between when I had had enough and when I wrote about it on here. My fuse is long; I can put up with a lot of nonsense. But when things get absolutely stupid, I can't take it anymore. And things got that stupid. 

On Day 28, I was running through my PCS checklist as usual. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that the no-fee passports simply were not going to make it back to me in time, so I emailed Passport Lady. I explained to her that the 6-8 week process time happened right when we were going to leave our current duty station for a short vacation. I asked her what would happen to our original documents that I needed to submit in the application process, and our no-fee passports, should we need to leave before the passports arrive. I informed her that I had already applied for our tourist passports, and we were authorized to travel on them. 

She wrote me back the next day telling me that we couldn't leave the country before the passports arrive. She also told me to not worry; I would simply have to change my flights to accommodate the situation. Seriously. She said that. I asked her several times, over several email interactions, why I couldn't leave. She would never answer my question. Instead I was told several times, over several email interactions, that she couldn't tell me when I could expect the passports to arrive. 

At one point, she asked me for a copy of my power of attorney from Sweet Baboo. I told her that I had already submitted that, and let her know that I knew it wouldn't suffice for our purposes. I also explained to her that I had a digital copy of the 3053, but that the State Department wouldn't take it for a permanent passport. As a result, I got a tourist passport on a temporary basis with a strict deadline. I need to file the proper paperwork when we get to Korea because of our extenuating circumstances. She responded by asking if I could get Sweet Baboo to send over an original power of attorney that authorized me to get passports for the girls. Frustrated at the stupidity of that question (the 3053 is essentially just that... and I had told her several times that we were not able to get original documents from Sweet Baboo in enough time), I wrote to the Post Commander. 

Now before you get all judgmental on me, I don't run to the CO every time I have an issue. I literally waited until an Active Duty Major, a Retired CWO-4, a Retired LTC, an Active Duty CWO-2, the wife of a Retired COL, and the wife of a CSM told me that the CO needed to hear my story before I ever considered going to him. 

The Colonel is a lovely man. I never felt foolish or whiny for bringing this situation to his attention. I didn't feel like his brain was elsewhere when I was speaking to him. I felt like he was listening with both ears, and considering all avenues to help me with my problem. Mine was a 20-minute appointment on his schedule, so when I left his office 75 minutes after we started talking I felt bad. He asked two gentlemen to accompany me to the Passport Office to clear up any miscommunication and get things moving. The two gentlemen were very supportive of my plight, and they assured me that I was not the first to have problems with Passport Lady. When I asked if I was the first to bring it to the CO's attention, they couldn't answer that question. I dropped it.

When we arrived at her office, Passport Lady was especially colorful in her attitude. Luckily for me, she made my stories to the COL and my two new buddies seem like I was under describing the situation. Had I not had my two new buds with me, I'm quite sure a few f-bombs would have been dropped... along with a few throat-punches. But I had two people who were there to support me, and who spoke for the COL, so I just needed to look at one of them and ask for help when she got foolish. And foolish she got!

At one point, she asked me where my common sense was (as she was literally waving her head in my face). She all but shouted to me that she would forward my documents directly to my apartment in Korea if they arrived after we left. When I asked if she had our forwarding address she said no (with no further response). I asked her if she would prefer that I email the address, or write it down... she stared at me. My buddies had to remind her several times that she had to answer my questions. She continued to dodge my questions outwardly by asking about the shirt I was wearing, “That is a really pretty shirt! Why are your thumbs poking out of holes in the end?” and telling me that I was her top priority. Again, she told me that she didn’t know when everything would be finalized. Buddy #1 firmly stated that she needed to stop dodging my questions and do things to be helpful. She slammed down the paper for me to write down our forwarding address, stormed around her office, and continued to outwardly refuse to be helpful unless we forced her. 

As Buddy #1 started talking to her, she got up and walked out of the office without saying a word to him. She returned with a gentleman who waved at us to follow him. We all crammed into his little office and he asked that we fill him in on what was going on. Buddy #1 started describing what he had just witnessed and Passport Lady cut him off. New Fellah asked her to not interrupt so Buddy #1 could finish his story. She literally told him, "No. I won't. I could lose my job over this, and I want to make sure the right story is told." They went back and forth for several moments before New Fellah finally asked Passport Lady to leave his office. Shockingly, she refused to leave. Another few moments of going back and forth passed before she reluctantly exited the office.

I was confused as to who the heck New Fellah was, and why we were in his office. I didn’t dare ask because Passport Lady was doing a fantastic job of proving my points to everybody in the room. But New Fellah obviously had no authority over Passport Lady (otherwise she wouldn’t have been so outwardly rude to him, and she would not have refused his requests). But we were in his office, discussing Passport Lady at her request, so he had to be somebody… right? To this day I’m still confused.

Even after Passport Lady insulted me by asking where my common sense was, she still proceeded to prove her lack of competencies at her job. New Fellah told me that according to law, they could not forward my documents directly to my apartment in Korea when they came back from the State Department. I had two options, though:

1. The Passport Office can forward all documents and the no-fee passports to the Passport Office in Korea when they arrive.

2. Have a friend pick up the documents and ship them to my apartment.

Never mind the logic in this. A friend can send everything to me directly, but the Passport Office can’t? But I suddenly had to decide which of my friends I wanted to subject to the abuse and blatant disrespect of the Passport Lady. One person came to mind… she is still on Active Duty and takes crap from nobody. But the idea of subjecting any friend of mine (regardless of how strong-minded, and full of authority they are) to this unnecessary step just seemed like superfluous abuse. And after some thought, I really didn’t think Passport Lady needed to have anything to do with my application or personal documents any more. So on Day 45 I wrote another letter to the COL.

Y’all, it was 17 pages. Single spaced. In 10 point font. I had a lot to say, and I wanted to make sure he had the opportunity to know the entire story. I copied emails, gave details of in-person communications, and offered my opinions. Because of the length of the letter, and the knowledge that the COL is a very busy man with many things on his plate, I gave a BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front). I’ll copy it and paste it for you here:

I have zero trust in [Passport Lady’s] capabilities to perform her job as it pertains to our situation. She has told me several times that she is not a Subject Matter Expert, and her knowledge of how to perform the duties within the scope of her job proves this to be true. I would like to request that another qualified employee follows up and finalizes the paperwork needed to obtain no-fee passports for my children and myself. If the need arises, I would be happy to work with the passport office in [our next duty station in Korea] (or any surrounding passport office in that area). I would also encourage you to evaluate [Passport Lady’s] behavior in her job, along with her reputation on Redstone Arsenal, and decide if she is the best fit for the position she fills.

Truly, if Passport Lady’s attitude and lack of effectiveness in her job can be fixed with some training, I would be pleased if her superiors would simply train her. I know that payroll is an expensive line in the budget, and having a high employee turnover means you spend more time searching for qualified employees than you do letting them do their job. So if I hear that Passport Lady is in the same job in 2 years, but is doing a much better job because of proper training and counseling, I’ll be happy. I wasn’t out to get her fired (unless her superiors had done everything they could before I had my experiences with her)… I was simply trying to ensure the Leadership knew how difficult the task of getting no-fee passports was, and I wanted to allow them the opportunity to fix the situation.

After sending the 17-page email (with not one single f-bomb… I’m seriously proud of that) I realized how much I just wanted to get to Korea and finish this process there. I did not want to have Passport Lady’s office handle our no-fee applications at all, regardless of whether she was involved or not. So when the COL emailed me back to inform me that Passport Lady’s supervisor was briefed on the situation, and to expect an email from him, I had made up my mind.

The gentleman who emailed me back was not New Fellah, though New Fellah was assigned my case. It doesn’t fall into his current job description, but he is qualified to assist me with my application because he was trained in the process by the State Department. When I gave him a very brief backstory on where I thought we were in the process, I neglected to put anything in about Passport Lady except to say that she is to have absolutely nothing to do with our applications. I asked a few questions and got very prompt and helpful answers.

One of my questions was this: Can I just put the process on hold for a week and pick everything up where we left off when we get to Korea? I’m more than happy to head over to the Embassy with my husband in tow so that he can personally sign all documents and we can get past this catastrophe. (For the record, I did not refer to the situation as a catastrophe to New Fellah… though I was thinking about it as I typed my letter). 

His initial response to this idea was to tell me that we would have to start the process all over if we were to do that. In all honesty, I was perfectly happy to follow that path! I just needed to know one thing: would the State Department send our applications and original documents to us in Korea so we could start all over, or could we just put in a reference number somewhere so they knew which employee was holding our originals when they got our documents.

The day after I asked about the documents as they pertained to starting over in Korea, I got a call from New Fellah. He was shocked to hear that the State Department wouldn’t make us start all over in Korea. They saw in our file that we had extenuating circumstances for our tourist passports, and connected the dots that those were the same extenuating circumstances for our no-fees. But rather than trying to rush to get us temporary no-fee passports before we were supposed to leave, they said to just head to the Embassy and use the reference numbers. They would be happy to receive a digital copy of the 3053 if it came from the Embassy directly. We would simply have to make sure the applicable reference numbers were attached. New Fellah kept saying over and over again that he had never heard of this type of exception to policy happening.

When I asked him for the reference numbers, he told me that he didn’t know them. He would have to seek out Passport Lady to find out what they were. He mentioned that if she didn’t have them in her files, she would have to call the State Department to get them. I apologized to New Fellah as I cut him off, then firmly (yet kindly) reminded him that Passport Lady does not have the authority to speak on our behalf to the State Department, nor is she to have any further access to our applications. If she has the appropriate reference numbers in an email from the State Department, New Fellah could ask that she give them to her. But if she says she doesn’t have anything, New Fellah would have to make the call. He respected my stance on the situation and we hung up. Thirty minutes later, I received an email with the reference numbers.

New Fellah was a pleasure to work with; his professionalism shined through as he was asked to step away from his typical duties to fill in for Passport Lady. He was thorough in his responses, and he listened to me when I had questions or comments. I hope my request to finish everything in Korea didn’t come off as mistrust for his abilities; I had other things that I was dealing with (pack out, kids in Florida, etc.) that needed my attention more.

TGBKA: Staying Organized!

I'm afraid I suffer from "not enough syndrome". It's not a greed thing.... rather, it's a substantial thing. I don't walk through life saying to myself, "I don't have enough money". Nor do I think, "I don't have enough stuff." But I sure do spend much of my life saying things like this to myself:

"I'm not efficient enough"

"This isn't organized enough"

"I'm not effective enough"

"I'm not enough enough"

Seriously... it's a wonder how Sweet Baboo puts up with me so gracefully. He has definitely grown wise with age because he has agreed to use this brilliant (if I do say so myself) tool:

It's a secret "group" on Facebook that is for only myself and him! This has saved so many conversations for us. Seriously! Sweet Baboo is 14 hours ahead of us. So when it's 10:00 in the morning here, and I have a random thought that I need his opinion/input/wisdom for, picking up the phone and calling him at midnight (his time) makes for a Cranky Baboo. Mainly because he has morning formation that the higher powers expect him to cheerfully participate in. So I put a post on the page, and patiently wait for him to respond.

My plea for participation may have something to do with his immediate acceptance of this idea.

And guess what? We aren't using the private message function of Facebook to communicate as much. This is a huge bonus because I am not spending an insane amount of time scrolling back up through fifty bajillion messages to find one piece of information. The group allows us to have organized conversations about several topics at the same time with the reply option to each comment in the thread. For instance:

The most organized way to hold a conversation with a human who sprints through life with ADD. There are literally 11 conversations going on in this thread, and I left the thread feeling completely informed and not confused at all. GLORIOUS!

I had our first pack out today, and I spent much of my weekend feeling like I was forgetting most of the important things. So I started a thread specifically for the express shipment. I took photos of each room and asked Sweet Baboo to let me know if he saw anything that I was forgetting. Then I went to our storage unit and asked him to let me know if he needed anything there. (Most of his professional equipment is there, and I can't shake the feeling that he didn't take enough of it with him). Each thought is completely different from any other in the thread; if we were to have had this conversation in the private messages function in Facebook most of the thoughts would have been missed or misunderstood. Responses are given directly to the individual thought, allowing for answers that need few (if any) clarification. It's delightful!

This group may not get shut down when we move to Korea. I love having the ability to put down my random thoughts in an area that is only for Sweet Baboo and myself (since it's a secret group, others won't be able to find it, or join it, unless we invite them to do so). When he's on a trip, I can keep up the communication with him about our household needs. It's great! I'm not feeling like our communication isn't efficient enough any more. Why did it take me this long to come up with this idea?

TGBKA, Day 6: Passport Lady, Take 3!

The day came for us to go back to the passport office to finalize the process of applying for our Official Passports. Now, I do my best to have "average expectations", but Sweet Baboo is constantly telling me that my expectations (of both myself and of others) is far too high. You be the judge here:

When we arrived, Passport Lady greeted my children (ages 5 and 9 years old) by saying, "Okay, you can't come back here making a lot of noise. I have a lot of paperwork to do and need it quiet so we can focus." Up to this point, the girls had quite literally said nothing. Not one word was spoken out of either of their mouths because they had nothing to say. I, on the other hand, was gently (and in my "I'm in a working office" voice) guiding them to where they needed to go. When she started the visit with that greeting, I looked at her with my obvious, "Are you f-ing kidding me? Did you really just speak at my kids that way?" facial expression and she jumped to explain herself: 

Passport Lady: "There is a lot of paperwork, and I wanted to make sure they knew to keep it down."

Me: "I'm sure they'll be fine. I have good kids."

Passport Lady: "Do they have coloring books and toys to keep them occupied?"

Me: "Nope."

Passport Lady: "What? You didn't bring coloring books and toys?! Why not?"

Me: "I wasn't told to. Is it a requirement?"

Passport Lady: "Well how are they going to stay occupied?"

Me: "I have good kids. I'm sure they'll be fine."

Passport Lady: "It's going to be, like, 45 minutes! Fine."

*For the record, we were there for 2 hours and not once did I have to tell them to behave.* 

We got started with the paperwork, and right away I had questions for her. She wanted to put in the application that we didn't already have passports. But I did. They were expired, but I had them. She said that since they are expired, I needed to put in that I don't have one. But we ended up turning in the passports that I just said on the application that I don't have as one of the official forms of identification.

Despite the several times I told her that The Elder and I had Official Passports (which were expired), and the The Wee never had an Official Passport, Passport Lady kept asking to see my no-fee passports. I would pick up mine and The Elder's passports and hand them to her, explaining that those were the no-fee ones. But they had blue jackets on them. Which apparently, in the eyes of Passport Lady, meant that they simply could not be no-fee passports. Despite the fact that the instructions for the no-fee passport was clearly printed in the correct spot at the back of the book. She still wouldn't listen.

She typed with her index fingers. And she looked for the keys as she typed. This slowed down the process substantially since I had to wait for her to ask me for the information, and she had to search for the keys to type it in. I'm surprised that with the über-technological way we live, employers don't have an expectation that the employees they hire have, and maintain, a minimum typing skills assessment if their main duties in the workplace require that they use a computer. At the risk of judging her by her age (she started it with the way she spoke to and about my children), I'm sure she has been working in that office since typewriters were a luxury. But that doesn't excuse her from being able to provide services efficiently and effectively. 

At one point she stopped her painfully slow typing, turned to me, and said, "You're really lucky. I don't do this for anybody." F-bombs were being swallowed at this point. I didn't mind doing this paperwork at home. In fact, it would probably have been more efficient and it definitely would have been easier on the girls. They can handle boring errands, but they find ugliness very difficult to understand. The paperwork that she so generously filled out "for me" that day was online, via the State Department's website. It wasn't some super secret form. I just needed to know where to find it and I could have done it myself. But she insisted that she do it for me during our appointment. 

When it came time to sign the applications for the girls, I was told to give a copy of the POA that Sweet Baboo gave me so I could sign for him. I thought this was odd; can a POA authorize me to get my kids a passport? My mind went through all of the ugly things I've watched wives to do their husbands with a POA in their hands: cleaned out bank accounts, changed names on vehicle titles, take out big loans, etc. Then my mind raced through every creepy Lifetime Original Movie where one parent goes behind the other parent's back and runs off with the kids. No forwarding address... no way to figure out where they went. A passport would allow me to do just that, on an international level. Wouldn't our State Department have safeguards in place to keep things like that from happening?

Turns out, they do. But Passport Lady either didn't know about them, or she didn't want to bother with them. Either way, I find it hard to believe that she is still employed at her job because she really offered me no actual assistance of value throughout the entire process. The DS-3053, Statement of Consent Application Form, needs to be filled out and notarized by the non-attending parent(s) for a child under the age of 16 to get a passport. I learned that when I went to the post office to apply for our tourist passports. And for Sweet Baboo to get me the DS-3053, he had to hunt down a JAG Officer in the final hour of the duty day just before a Korean holiday. Then he had to scan and email it to me. But that happened for Day 8: Tourist Passports... because Passport Lady either didn't know that I needed it, or didn't care to bring it up. And when I did sign my name, she stopped and dramatically said, "That is your signature?"

Me: "Yes. Why?"

Passport Lady: "Really? That's how you sign your name?"

Me: "Do you want me to prove it? I have that same signature on three picture IDs."

Passport Lady: ~grunt~

After everything was signed, and I was just about to walk out of her office, I asked her how long the expedited process will take. She looked at me funny, and I reminded her that on Day 4 I mentioned possibly needing the passports to be expedited because 6-8 weeks would be cutting it really close. She said, "where's your memo signed by a 4-Star General?" Wait. What? Apparently, I need a General to approve applying for an expedited no-fee, and when I asked her about the expediting process two days earlier she failed to mention that. The list of information that I was lacking, despite my best efforts to gather it, was growing by the minute. 

So needless to say, I am not even sure I'll be getting my no-fee passports in time. They will process in 6-8 weeks. That would put them to me between Day 48 and Day 62... if they are even approved. Stressed, I told Sweet Baboo what happened. We decided that I would file for our tourist passports, and spend the money to get them expedited. This should be fun...

The Great Big Korean Adventure, Day 4: Passport Lady, Take 2

For those of you following along, Day 4 has already been a day full of stress and disappointment. Passport Lady was less than helpful when I went into the office, and I last left you with the teaser information about emails being sent between the two of us. Here was my attempt to change my vinegar to honey:

Ms. [Passport Lady],

I came into the Passport Office about an hour ago. I was a frazzled mess and very stressed out. I'm sorry that I projected that upon you. I was disappointed in myself to find that I had come in during your lunch time, and didn't want to interrupt your lunch any further. After stepping away from the situation, calming my stress down, and looking at that scene from the outside, I realize that the way I spoke with you was not the way I was intending. Please accept my apologies; I am very sorry for being short with you.

Every time we PCS to a new duty station, we play the PCS Shuffle: we get told that we have an insane amount of things to accomplish in an impossible amount of time to do it. We show up to an office to check something off of our list, get told a handful of information and are sent on our way. When we return, having accomplished the handful of information we are generally told that we have still more to do before we can get helped. My husband is currently in Korea, so I am handling this entire process by myself. I am tired and overwhelmed already, and I have only been handling this move since Friday. 

I was in the passport office about a month or so ago. I cannot recall who the person sitting at the front desk was, but she handed me the "Obtaining an Official Government Passport" paper that you referenced. She told me that I needed to work on the DD Form 156, bring in the expired passports, and just come back in. I asked about the other forms listed, and was told that we could take care of it in the office. I'll work on the other forms listed, but I do have the DD Form 156 filled out and ready to move forward.

At this point, I have 60 days (starting last Thursday) to get to Korea. To say that I'm in a rush, and frantically trying to gather all of the pertinent information and documents in the most efficient way possible is an understatement. I am kind of running blind as I navigate these OCONUS PCS waters right now, and am trying to schedule my life according to how long things will take to complete. Since the passports will take a while, I would like to complete this ASAP. Can you please spell it all out for me? I would really appreciate it.

Just under an hour later, she wrote back. My desktop computer was at the Apple Store, getting looked at for a few annoying habits it picked up that I needed removed. Better to take care of it now, with an Apple Store just off post, than later when we're in Korea. With my desktop "in the shop", so to speak, I needed to find a place I could use to print the DD-1056 and DS-11 forms that I was originally told would be taken care of when I came into the office with orders in hand. These forms are packets, so running to Staples to print them out would have been a last resort. The library on post was (in perfect unison with the way the day was going for me already) closed for yet another remodeling situation. And I vaguely remember Sweet Baboo's old boss telling me that if I needed anything to simply swing by and let them know. So I did. And when the last page of the final packet of papers popped out of Big Boss' printer, Passport Lady's email came through:

Thank-you for the sweet note. I know you are exhausted in this process which can be daunting at times....don't worry....I will help you all I can.

So.....your husband is in S. Korea now.....and you & your 2 daughters are to PCS to join him...right?

OK...first thing...we need his orders stating you and the children are authorized to go.  Then we start with who has what paperwork....do you (or the children) have a blue PP now?  If not....we will need a birth certificate for each of you.  then we will need the DD-1056 ( I can take care of that )....we will also need a DS-11 for each person who does not have a RED official passport now.

If you want, we can do all this in my office one day when I do not have any appointments, we can knock it out in about 45 minutes...I take the pictures, and can do most of your paperwork.
Let me know if this is OK with you?

Being, literally, a block and a half away from the Passport Office, I decided to pop in and see about getting an appointment. The first time I was in the Passport Office, I was led to believe that I didn't need an appointment. "When you get the forms together, just come on in and we'll take care of you." The wording on Passport Lady's email didn't say that I needed an appointment, but I didn't feel like I had the spare time to head on in to her office "...when [she does] not have any appointments...". Plus, she made herself perfectly clear earlier that day that she works by appointments only. And I really do not enjoy being on the phone. So rather than run the risk of playing voicemail tag, or being on hold, I opted to pop in to sort things out in person.

When I arrived, Passport Lady had a bucket of papers in her hands that she was taking to a set of large garbage cans in the lobby area. She was walking by as I came in. The very first thing she said to me was, "I didn't mean I could do it right now." She gave nervous look to me, and I took that as her attempts to be funny. I gave a nervous chuckle (she is the only person on post who can help me with this, so I opted to be as nice as humanly possible and just get the job done), and responded with, "Well, your email didn't specify when you don't have any appointments. So I came in to set one up." After she finished with the papers in her hand, she came over to me to discuss the next steps.

I showed her all of the passports I have between the girls and me. The Elder and I have both No-Fee Passports and Tourist Passports. The Wee only got the Tourist Passport. But all of the passports, regardless of the type of passports, had blue jackets. I felt it was important to let her know about this because Sweet Baboo and I thought it odd that our Official Passports didn't come in red jackets (like so many of our friends'. Plus, she had referred to the different colored jackets in her email to me, and I wanted to make sure that she understood that while I didn't have any red jacket passports, I did have Official Passports for 2/3 of us. More on that later.

After showing her the rest of my paperwork, and letting her know that I had just printed out the rest of the documents that I was told would be handled when I came in to get the photos taken, she told me to not worry about those forms; she would take care of them when I came in. I asked several times when I could come in, stressing to her that time was very short and I would probably need expedited passports to ensure everything came in on time. She pulled out her calendar and we made an appointment for the girls and me to come in on the morning of Day 6 of our PCS process. She told me that the appointment would last approximately 45 minutes, and to come ready for photos. I asked her if I needed to bring anything else for the appointment and was assured that I had everything I needed.

While I was there, I made an appointment to see a Household Goods (HHG) counselor so I could schedule my pack out dates. Even though I'm not moving during "PCS Season", I wanted to make sure I could lock in the appropriate dates for a smooth PCS. As luck would have it, there was an opening after lunch on Day 6. We could knock out the passports, grab a quick bite to eat, then come back to the same place and bang out HHG. Things were starting to look up.

The next day, on Day 5, the girls and I got started with "The Great Purging". Starting in the Triathlon Room, and moving to the Laundry Room, we grabbed big white trash bags and labeled them: DONATE and TRASH. The Triathlon Room has a wall of shelves built in, so we labeled them with HHG/UB, DONATE/SELL, and NTS. By the end of the day, we had taken 5 garbage bags of donations to the van, 3 bags of trash to the curb, and the Triathlon Room was tidy. For the first time in years, I can walk in that room without stubbing my toe, tripping, or having to kick things out of the way. PCS' are fantastic at making sure you don't become a packrat for too long... but more on that later.

The Great Big Korean Adventure, Days 2-4: Sweet Baboo Goes House Hunting

So while drinking a delicious glass of wine, we learned that Sweet Baboo would have to acquire our Korean home before we could even leave the US. My anxiety instantly and exponentially spiked when I realized the potential consequences of this little detail.

In the beginning years of our marriage, Sweet Baboo and I made the decision to let me handle most things pertaining to how the house would be run, and he would deal with how his office would operate. I don't go to his office and tell him how to set up his desk; he doesn't tell me which kitchen is best suited for my work. Ever since we came to that agreement, house shopping and dwelling blissfully has been on cruise control. That isn't to say that he gets no say in how we set up the house; but he realizes that between his day-job and the many travels he tends to take, our home some times feels like a hotel room for him. So it is my job to pick the home.

Until the Army fires me from that job.

Thank the high heavens for Facetime! And for patient realtors who do not make their clients feel weird for doing a virtual walk through, live. And for awesome roller derby coaches who stay behind after practice so we can finish a walk through in one of the homes. And, most importantly, for husbands who realize the importance of letting their wives be as involved as humanly (and technologically) involved as possible.

But before the tours, we needed to decide what we could afford. Here's the kind of scary part: we get paid in US Dollars. But we will pay our rent in Korean Won. And our allowance won't immediately reflect the exchange rate changes. So we wanted to make sure we stayed pretty well below our OHA cap. I went here to find our budget.

Next, Sweet Baboo sent me a list of furniture that we would be able to borrow from the Army to furnish our new home. Remember that mess about potentially not being able to bring the 50% weight allowance? You can't be expected to sleep on the floor, so the Army keeps loaner furniture over there to save money on shipping our furniture. The furniture isn't top of the line, but it's something. And I'm grateful for the service.

Finally, I gave Sweet Baboo my "please, please, please, oh puhleeeeeese look for places with this..." list. It includes such items as "a kitchen that I can actually cook and enjoy cooking in", "a space large enough for us to do homeschool in", and (since I do want this to be an adventure) "as authentically Korean as possible". We don't get to live on post, so if we're going to live on the economy, I want to "live as the Koreans do". It's only temporary, right?

I did have a second list. It was my "but if you can make this happen, I'd be forever appreciative". This list had items like "if we're going to live in a high rise apartment, please put up high so we can enjoy the views!", "a view from the kitchen sink would be fantastic", "plenty of closet space so I don't have to fold much laundry", and "somewhere to put The Beast".

Sweet Baboo came through!

We have no pictures of the new home just yet. You'll have to wait until I can get there and pull out Lux. But until then, here's what I know:

* 19th floor
* Beautiful view from the kitchen sink
* Awesome kitchen sink (this was very important to Sweet Baboo)
* 4 bedrooms, 2 baths
* Hardwood floors throughout
* A cafe and two small grocery stores in the building
* Fantastic enclosed patio
* Closets in every bedroom

I'm pretty excited, and I'm proud of my husband for jumping through hoops to make sure I'm as involved as I can be from the other side of the world. I married an amazing man, and worry that I don't tell him often enough how much I appreciate him.

The Great Big Korean Adventure, Day 1: Setting up for a Proper PCS

So, you have your wish list sorted out: Soldier has sought the wisdom of the elders in his MOS, Wife has asked around the "Army Wife Mafia" (as Sweet Baboo likes to call it), and both have come together at the Negotiation Table to sort through each person's desires. The kids want Hawaii, but the Soldier doubts he will get the billet because he lacks a certain school. Wife wants Europe, but Soldier is the wrong rank for the position. Soldier wants Korea because he had a fantastic time the first time he was there, and would love for the family to experience it with him. Plea bargains get tossed around, and finally the wish list is written out. With Korea at the top. And the Army gives the awesome family their wish: Soldier goes to Korea. But wait! We want to go as well! That story has been written. Let's move forward.

Every PCS has a lot of the same hurdles for each family to navigate (I'm looking at you, HHG and Housing!), but the hurdles look very different from one PCS to another. For instance, Sweet Baboo had close to 6 months to out process our duty station here, pack 230 pounds of professional and personal gear, and head out to his new job in Korea... and he had our "help". When we got the orders that allows the girls and myself to join him in Korea, we got 60 days to get there. 60 days! Seems like a lot, right? Here is what the first week of those 60 days looks like:

Day 1:

Purchase a 1.5" binder with lots of page protectors and tabbed dividers to organize all of the billion pages you'll have to keep track of. Set up the binder and label the super important sections. Print out no less than ten copies of the orders and have them at the ready to hand out to the dozen organizations/companies that will need them to help you move. Sit back, exhale dramatically for a moment as you try to convince yourself that your binder will be big enough. Then realize that you'll need at least 2.5" and even more page protectors. Things are about to get crazy!

The beginnings of a smooth PCS: smoothie for energy, PCS binder to keep those documents together, iPad with a data plan to look stuff up (and for entertainment in waiting rooms), pen, highlighter (and the pencils are in my hair). Things are about to get real!

Immediately fill out a calendar in pencil, and invest heavily in erasers. Because you're going to have to pick dates. And then you're going to have to change them. You're going to need to schedule your HHG (household goods) shipment (the "slow boat to Korea"). We're going OCONUS (Outside of the Continental United States) we we will also need to schedule our Unaccompanied Baggage (aka: Express Shipment... the airplane) and our Non-Temp Storage (things we can't take overseas, and need to be stored while we're over there). We are entitled to ship one POV (personally owned vehicle) at the government's expense, so we'll have to do research to figure out which one to ship, and what to do with the other one. When should we ship it?

There's an art to all of this, of course. I handle it by mapping out the dates and visualizing how life will be over the next 60 days. Backwards planning gets me started... but I always seem to have that all-important eraser handy for the changes. Because: math. You see, UB takes between 30 and 45 days to get to Korea. The purpose of this shipment is to send your "super important stuff" over as quickly as possible so you don't go without it for very long. These are things like your bed sheets, your towels, maybe a vacuum cleaner and mop, clothes for the next season (if you'll be making the move when the seasons will be making dramatic changes), etc. HHG takes the slow boat over, and can take anywhere from 3-6 months (I've heard some crazy stories on the timelines here) to arrive. So pack your decorations, your book shelves, and your furniture... but learn to eat standing up, and sit on the floor if you don't get all of the loaner furniture you want.

When dealing with HHG, you have to consider the math. Not just the timing... the weight. Each family has a weight allowance for what we are authorized to ship at government expense. If we go over that amount, we pay. The weight allowance is based off of Soldier's rank, and number of dependents. We get 13,500 pounds. Total. What I ship to Korea on the slow boat, on the airplane, and what goes into storage all needs to equal less than 13,500 (not including our vehicle). How the heck are we supposed to know how much our household goods weigh? Take a look around. Go from room to room and guess how much your stuff weighs. Yeah. It's pretty tough. The Personal Property Office tells you to average it out to be about 1,000 pounds per room in your house (obviously, your bathrooms will be less... your garage will be more).

But I have certain directives I have to follow with the weight allowances. For instance the UB is the most expensive form of moving my stuff, so I max out at 350 pounds for every dependent over 12, and 175 pounds for every dependent 11 and under. Since we're moving to Korea, shipping a lot of our HHG is still expensive on the government so we're capped at at 50% of our allowance. (My PPO counselor tried to tell me that I was capped out at 25%, but I asked her to reference the regulation that said 25% because the most updated JFTR that I read still stated 50%. That's a big difference, people! It's the difference between 6,750 pounds of my stuff, and 3,375 pounds.) And all of those weights, plus what Sweet Baboo has already shipped to Korea, has to add up to no more than 13,500 pounds. Whew!

So a divider in my binder goes specifically to "Pack It". There are subdividers that break up lists of "HHG", "UB", "NTS", and "Get It OUT!". As I'm going about my day, doing the dishes and whatnot, if I see something that I don't think I'll need in Korea I'll ask myself if I'll want to unpack it in two years. If the answer is no, I'll put it on a list in the "Get It OUT!" section of the book. Then, when the time comes to go through the house with a fine-tooth comb, I can pile the stuff together appropriately and know what is going where.

Then, I plan some more. Since the vast majority of our stuff (approximately 9,195 pounds' worth) is going to NTS, I'll probably schedule that pack-out last. It will have almost all of our furniture, most of our dishes, and lots of our clothes. I want my express shipment to get there ASAP because I don't want to sleep in a sleeping bag for longer than I have to. So that will be the very first thing I need to schedule. And so on... and so forth.

I haphazardly toss the date for taking the POV to port based on when I think I could step away from the craziness long enough to take a day-trip to Atlanta and back so we can get the vehicle on its way. Then I start an inventory in our deep freezer so we can eat the entire contents in the next 45 days. That way, I can defrost it, drain it, clean it, dry it out completely, and have it ready to store. I make a mental note to pull out all birth certificates, marriage certificates, passports, and other legal documents so they can be handy for this craziness. And then I sit down for the first time with a big glass of wine to read over the rest of the orders and make sure I'm not missing anything. And that's when I see it: we are not even authorized to leave CONUS until Sweet Baboo has acquired housing for us. But that's a blog post for another day. Day 2, to be exact.

What's REALLY necessary in the PCS Planning Process: organizational skills, a great glass of wine, and the ability to step away and get some fresh air in your current duty station before you really start to miss it.