TGBKA Day 60: THE SLOW PLANE RIDE TO KOREA (PENSACOLA TO DALLAS FORT WORTH)

We woke up at 0330 in Florida. My amazing inlaws were up before we were; they were dressed and ready to help with the insanity that was about to ensue. I was running around like a crazy lady, gathering up the final items to put in our luggage (put in the pajamas, pull out the jackets, pack up the charging cords for the five million i-devices we own, etc.) and the girls were giddy with exhausted excitement. The Elder popped out of bed like a Jack in the Box and was off in an instant. The Wee, on the other hand, woke slowly with the desire to discuss in detail every plane trip she has been on and inquire about how this one would differ. We all tried to put a little something on our tummies since we weren’t sure what would be open at the terminal and we knew our layover would be very stressful; but really, how hungry can a person be at 0330?

We got to the airport with our 15 checked bags, our 5 carry on bags, my 2 inlaws, my 2 babies, and not quite enough caffeine in my system. I was ready: I had all of our dependent ID cards inside our passports, I had Sweet Baboo’s orders taking him to Korea, our first set of amended orders authorizing the Command Sponsorship (but denying us travel until Sweet Baboo got us an apartment), and the final amended orders authorizing us to travel. I had our confirmed travel itinerary, and the boarding passes I had printed up the night before. I even made notes when I checked in on what the weather would be like when we arrived in Dallas Ft. Worth airport (in case we had to take a tiny plane that wouldn’t dock directly at the gate and we would have to huff it in the weather outside), and the weather in Korea (so we could be prepared for the trip to our friend’s house).

I approached the ticket counter with our load and smiled internally when other passengers couldn’t hold their shocked looks from showing. The employees at the ticket counter were nothing short of amazing. They listened to my quick explanation: we’re travelling on official orders, I have called American Airlines three times in the last two weeks to verify our checked baggage allotment, I have 5 bags per person, etc. They were encouraging and thoughtful. And they allowed me to check the bags in the order I wanted to check them.

That last point is very important. When traveling with 15 bags, I find it to be rather important to keep a list of the bags (itemized to coordinate with the numbers on each bag: 1 of 15, 2 of 15, 3 of 15, etc.). I wanted to make sure the bags were labeled in the order I numbered them. For the most part, it was successful.

The four of us were a well-oiled machine! Mom pointed out the next numbered bag for me to lift and put on the scale. Gentleman Employee weighed the luggage for me and didn’t lose his patience when I wanted to write the weight down on my list. Lady employee stuck her fancy stickers on the luggage and Gentleman Employee moved the piece to the conveyor belt behind him. Rinse, repeat… 14 more times. It was glorious!

We made it to security with not a single hiccup, and it was suddenly time to give hugs and kisses to Mom and Pops. With the excitement of moving forward to get the trip started, I never remember to vocalize the super mushy, overly sentimental words that I have in my heart for my family. Sometimes, “I love you and appreciate you dearly” just has to be enough… even though my heart says it’s just the beginning. Mom and Pops understood, and we got in line to clear security.

The Elder is 9 and the Wee is 5. I decided that they could handle holding their own tickets and passports while we waited in line. They did splendidly! We watched the passengers ahead of us as they waited for the TSA employee to beckon them. Then we discussed what we saw happen next: the passenger handed over his ticket and his passport, waited, and moved to the conveyor belt to put his stuff through the x-ray. The line wasn’t long, but there were enough people ahead of us for the girls to fully understand the flow of things when it was our turn. When Mr. TSA called us forward, the girls were giddy and giggly as they handed over their documents. His comments were kind and encouraging to the girls, and we left with high spirits that this would be an excellent day.

After clearing the x-ray area, the Wee got sidetracked by the full body scan machine. We didn’t have to go through it, and she was very interested in what was happening inside. I let her watch one passenger clear that area before I guided her to the window that separated us from Mom and Pops. We posed for one last photo, blew some kisses, and headed to our terminal.

Photo courtesy of Mom. If you look hard enough, you can see her beautiful reflection in the glass. Thanks, Mom!

We got to the gate 2 full hours before we were scheduled to take off. We found a cozy spot next to the window so we could watch the sun rise and keep an eye on our plane, and sat silently for a spell. A little boy with a prosthetic leg sat in the chair behind the Wee, and the Elder asked his family if they were going to Korea as well. The little boy was no older than the Wee, and his sister was even younger than he. The family was going to Hawaii, and I saw a very temporary, very mild look of envy on the Elder’s face when she got the news. She wants to surf again, and meet Bethany Hamilton (Soul Surfer), so Hawaii is on her “Duty Station Desires Before Daddy Retires” list.

The Wee was not quiet when she asked me if I saw “the little boy with the ‘thing’ on his leg”. I was not quiet when I responded with, “Yes I did! Did you introduce yourself? Maybe he would like a friend to talk with before the flight.” The Wee bashfully shook her head and got really quiet. I softened my voice a little, but was still loud enough for the little boy to hear when I said, “Do you know what that thing is on his leg?” And then the Wee, the Elder, and I had a discussion about prosthetic limbs and how absolutely cool they are. I don’t know if the boy was bashful, or tired, or embarrassed, but I didn’t want him to think that we thought any less of him because he was different. He got the message.

At one point, I looked down at our boarding passes and realized that we would be departing our first flight just as our connecting flight was starting to board. I took those boarding passes to the gate crew and asked what could be done about it. I was told that the terminals and gates were subject to change several times during our initial flight so planning our escape route now was not going to work. But he put in a request for one of those motorized vehicles to meet us at the gate and take us to our next gate quicker. But when we had to gate-check two of our carry on bags I knew the layover would be crazy. And it was.

Our reactions when we saw the time table ahead of us. Me: visibly stressed. Elder: shocked and she doesn't know why. Wee: completely oblivious

We bounce-landed, which got the girls’ attentions. We giggled at the sensation the bounce gave us, and the girls were eager to move to our next plane. But DFW is a large airport, and after landing we still had a ten minute taxi to the gate. Suddenly, I had the song “God Blessed Texas” in my head and couldn’t keep myself from singing it to the girls to distract them. The other passengers weren’t amused when the girls sang the chorus for the hundredth time in under five minutes. Then out of nowhere, the Wee giggled loudly and exclaimed for all of the plane to hear, “Mommy! I just farted!” We couldn’t get to the gate quickly enough.

Bounce landings are better than crash landings!

I coached the girls on how the next twenty minutes would go: when they turn off the fasten seat belts sign, they were to stay in their seats while I moved to the aisle to get our bags down from the overhead compartment. Then they would load up with their respective bags and we would head out to get our gate-checked bags. I warned them that the gate-checked bags would take us a few minutes and that they would need to be patient.

When we got off the plane, we stood in line to get our bags. A lady who worked for the airport walked by and I grabbed her attention. I explained to her that we were waiting for our gate-checked bags but our next flight was already boarding according to our next boarding passes. She told us to follow her to the front of the line. She told us to grab our gate-checked bags and then just stared at us. I asked her if she were able to radio for a cart to come get us from the gate and drive us to the next one. She stared at us. I asked her if she could help me… she stared at me. The staring was maddening. I finally said, "Look. I don't have time for you to stand there and stare at me. Are you going to help me or not?" She started in on what looked like a SpunkySoul length explanation, and I just didn't have that kind of time. So I politely cut her off: "Excuse me, ma'am... yes or no?" She said no and we moved on.

I looked down at the girls and all I had to say was this: "Girls, be the Jammer. See that pack? Bust right through it. We're heading for the Skylink. Wee, you lead the way. Elder, follow right behind her. I'll bring up the rear. Get us through!" The twinkle in their eyes was unmistakable. It's as if they had trained for this moment over the past two years. And boy, did they get us through the pack! I was the slow one... lugging the heavy bags and trying to keep up. 

By the time we made it to the Skylink, we had forgotten the actual gate we needed to get to. There were two stops for the terminal we needed, so we made a game plan: get off at the first stop and re-check our gate. If it's the wrong one, haul ass to the correct gate. As we were making our game plan, an amazing human being was listening. He was in a wheel chair and had a young airport employee assisting him through the airport. He looked up at his "handler" and said, "You ready to haul ass with them?" I looked over at them, and they both nodded at each other. His handler asked me where we were headed, looked at my boarding pass, and said to me, "We'll help you." I was so relieved to have somebody there that cared!

The Universe was ready for us to get to Korea. Awesome Handler Dude parted the packs of people with Wheelchair Dude. Wheelchair Dude shouted things like "Coming through. You really need to move out of our way!" The girls were giggling and trying their best to keep up. I was thanking every deity we have ever studied in our homeschool adventures for what we were experiencing. In no time, we found ourselves at the end of the very long line of people who were preparing to board our flight. I caught my breath, counted the kids and the carry on bags (to make sure we didn't have any slackers in our convoy) and turned to Wheel Chair Dude. "You're a lifesaver! Thank you so much. Wait. Are you going to be late for your flight?" He offered the biggest smile that could possibly fit on his face and replied with, "Nope. I have a 90 minute layover." I thanked his handler and looked up at the information screen.  Flight delayed.

TGBKA Day 45: 17 PAGES AND NOT ONE F-BOMB DROPPED...

I'm really hoping this will be my final installment on The Passport Lady. Honestly, I kind of feel like this blog has been one big whine-fest about her, and I am quite tired of dealing with her. I'm tired of talking about her. I'm tired of even thinking about her. But I have had a couple dozen people ask for an update so here we go. 

First, I wanted to let some time lapse between when I had had enough and when I wrote about it on here. My fuse is long; I can put up with a lot of nonsense. But when things get absolutely stupid, I can't take it anymore. And things got that stupid. 

On Day 28, I was running through my PCS checklist as usual. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that the no-fee passports simply were not going to make it back to me in time, so I emailed Passport Lady. I explained to her that the 6-8 week process time happened right when we were going to leave our current duty station for a short vacation. I asked her what would happen to our original documents that I needed to submit in the application process, and our no-fee passports, should we need to leave before the passports arrive. I informed her that I had already applied for our tourist passports, and we were authorized to travel on them. 

She wrote me back the next day telling me that we couldn't leave the country before the passports arrive. She also told me to not worry; I would simply have to change my flights to accommodate the situation. Seriously. She said that. I asked her several times, over several email interactions, why I couldn't leave. She would never answer my question. Instead I was told several times, over several email interactions, that she couldn't tell me when I could expect the passports to arrive. 

At one point, she asked me for a copy of my power of attorney from Sweet Baboo. I told her that I had already submitted that, and let her know that I knew it wouldn't suffice for our purposes. I also explained to her that I had a digital copy of the 3053, but that the State Department wouldn't take it for a permanent passport. As a result, I got a tourist passport on a temporary basis with a strict deadline. I need to file the proper paperwork when we get to Korea because of our extenuating circumstances. She responded by asking if I could get Sweet Baboo to send over an original power of attorney that authorized me to get passports for the girls. Frustrated at the stupidity of that question (the 3053 is essentially just that... and I had told her several times that we were not able to get original documents from Sweet Baboo in enough time), I wrote to the Post Commander. 

Now before you get all judgmental on me, I don't run to the CO every time I have an issue. I literally waited until an Active Duty Major, a Retired CWO-4, a Retired LTC, an Active Duty CWO-2, the wife of a Retired COL, and the wife of a CSM told me that the CO needed to hear my story before I ever considered going to him. 

The Colonel is a lovely man. I never felt foolish or whiny for bringing this situation to his attention. I didn't feel like his brain was elsewhere when I was speaking to him. I felt like he was listening with both ears, and considering all avenues to help me with my problem. Mine was a 20-minute appointment on his schedule, so when I left his office 75 minutes after we started talking I felt bad. He asked two gentlemen to accompany me to the Passport Office to clear up any miscommunication and get things moving. The two gentlemen were very supportive of my plight, and they assured me that I was not the first to have problems with Passport Lady. When I asked if I was the first to bring it to the CO's attention, they couldn't answer that question. I dropped it.

When we arrived at her office, Passport Lady was especially colorful in her attitude. Luckily for me, she made my stories to the COL and my two new buddies seem like I was under describing the situation. Had I not had my two new buds with me, I'm quite sure a few f-bombs would have been dropped... along with a few throat-punches. But I had two people who were there to support me, and who spoke for the COL, so I just needed to look at one of them and ask for help when she got foolish. And foolish she got!

At one point, she asked me where my common sense was (as she was literally waving her head in my face). She all but shouted to me that she would forward my documents directly to my apartment in Korea if they arrived after we left. When I asked if she had our forwarding address she said no (with no further response). I asked her if she would prefer that I email the address, or write it down... she stared at me. My buddies had to remind her several times that she had to answer my questions. She continued to dodge my questions outwardly by asking about the shirt I was wearing, “That is a really pretty shirt! Why are your thumbs poking out of holes in the end?” and telling me that I was her top priority. Again, she told me that she didn’t know when everything would be finalized. Buddy #1 firmly stated that she needed to stop dodging my questions and do things to be helpful. She slammed down the paper for me to write down our forwarding address, stormed around her office, and continued to outwardly refuse to be helpful unless we forced her. 

As Buddy #1 started talking to her, she got up and walked out of the office without saying a word to him. She returned with a gentleman who waved at us to follow him. We all crammed into his little office and he asked that we fill him in on what was going on. Buddy #1 started describing what he had just witnessed and Passport Lady cut him off. New Fellah asked her to not interrupt so Buddy #1 could finish his story. She literally told him, "No. I won't. I could lose my job over this, and I want to make sure the right story is told." They went back and forth for several moments before New Fellah finally asked Passport Lady to leave his office. Shockingly, she refused to leave. Another few moments of going back and forth passed before she reluctantly exited the office.

I was confused as to who the heck New Fellah was, and why we were in his office. I didn’t dare ask because Passport Lady was doing a fantastic job of proving my points to everybody in the room. But New Fellah obviously had no authority over Passport Lady (otherwise she wouldn’t have been so outwardly rude to him, and she would not have refused his requests). But we were in his office, discussing Passport Lady at her request, so he had to be somebody… right? To this day I’m still confused.

Even after Passport Lady insulted me by asking where my common sense was, she still proceeded to prove her lack of competencies at her job. New Fellah told me that according to law, they could not forward my documents directly to my apartment in Korea when they came back from the State Department. I had two options, though:

1. The Passport Office can forward all documents and the no-fee passports to the Passport Office in Korea when they arrive.

2. Have a friend pick up the documents and ship them to my apartment.

Never mind the logic in this. A friend can send everything to me directly, but the Passport Office can’t? But I suddenly had to decide which of my friends I wanted to subject to the abuse and blatant disrespect of the Passport Lady. One person came to mind… she is still on Active Duty and takes crap from nobody. But the idea of subjecting any friend of mine (regardless of how strong-minded, and full of authority they are) to this unnecessary step just seemed like superfluous abuse. And after some thought, I really didn’t think Passport Lady needed to have anything to do with my application or personal documents any more. So on Day 45 I wrote another letter to the COL.

Y’all, it was 17 pages. Single spaced. In 10 point font. I had a lot to say, and I wanted to make sure he had the opportunity to know the entire story. I copied emails, gave details of in-person communications, and offered my opinions. Because of the length of the letter, and the knowledge that the COL is a very busy man with many things on his plate, I gave a BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front). I’ll copy it and paste it for you here:

I have zero trust in [Passport Lady’s] capabilities to perform her job as it pertains to our situation. She has told me several times that she is not a Subject Matter Expert, and her knowledge of how to perform the duties within the scope of her job proves this to be true. I would like to request that another qualified employee follows up and finalizes the paperwork needed to obtain no-fee passports for my children and myself. If the need arises, I would be happy to work with the passport office in [our next duty station in Korea] (or any surrounding passport office in that area). I would also encourage you to evaluate [Passport Lady’s] behavior in her job, along with her reputation on Redstone Arsenal, and decide if she is the best fit for the position she fills.

Truly, if Passport Lady’s attitude and lack of effectiveness in her job can be fixed with some training, I would be pleased if her superiors would simply train her. I know that payroll is an expensive line in the budget, and having a high employee turnover means you spend more time searching for qualified employees than you do letting them do their job. So if I hear that Passport Lady is in the same job in 2 years, but is doing a much better job because of proper training and counseling, I’ll be happy. I wasn’t out to get her fired (unless her superiors had done everything they could before I had my experiences with her)… I was simply trying to ensure the Leadership knew how difficult the task of getting no-fee passports was, and I wanted to allow them the opportunity to fix the situation.

After sending the 17-page email (with not one single f-bomb… I’m seriously proud of that) I realized how much I just wanted to get to Korea and finish this process there. I did not want to have Passport Lady’s office handle our no-fee applications at all, regardless of whether she was involved or not. So when the COL emailed me back to inform me that Passport Lady’s supervisor was briefed on the situation, and to expect an email from him, I had made up my mind.

The gentleman who emailed me back was not New Fellah, though New Fellah was assigned my case. It doesn’t fall into his current job description, but he is qualified to assist me with my application because he was trained in the process by the State Department. When I gave him a very brief backstory on where I thought we were in the process, I neglected to put anything in about Passport Lady except to say that she is to have absolutely nothing to do with our applications. I asked a few questions and got very prompt and helpful answers.

One of my questions was this: Can I just put the process on hold for a week and pick everything up where we left off when we get to Korea? I’m more than happy to head over to the Embassy with my husband in tow so that he can personally sign all documents and we can get past this catastrophe. (For the record, I did not refer to the situation as a catastrophe to New Fellah… though I was thinking about it as I typed my letter). 

His initial response to this idea was to tell me that we would have to start the process all over if we were to do that. In all honesty, I was perfectly happy to follow that path! I just needed to know one thing: would the State Department send our applications and original documents to us in Korea so we could start all over, or could we just put in a reference number somewhere so they knew which employee was holding our originals when they got our documents.

The day after I asked about the documents as they pertained to starting over in Korea, I got a call from New Fellah. He was shocked to hear that the State Department wouldn’t make us start all over in Korea. They saw in our file that we had extenuating circumstances for our tourist passports, and connected the dots that those were the same extenuating circumstances for our no-fees. But rather than trying to rush to get us temporary no-fee passports before we were supposed to leave, they said to just head to the Embassy and use the reference numbers. They would be happy to receive a digital copy of the 3053 if it came from the Embassy directly. We would simply have to make sure the applicable reference numbers were attached. New Fellah kept saying over and over again that he had never heard of this type of exception to policy happening.

When I asked him for the reference numbers, he told me that he didn’t know them. He would have to seek out Passport Lady to find out what they were. He mentioned that if she didn’t have them in her files, she would have to call the State Department to get them. I apologized to New Fellah as I cut him off, then firmly (yet kindly) reminded him that Passport Lady does not have the authority to speak on our behalf to the State Department, nor is she to have any further access to our applications. If she has the appropriate reference numbers in an email from the State Department, New Fellah could ask that she give them to her. But if she says she doesn’t have anything, New Fellah would have to make the call. He respected my stance on the situation and we hung up. Thirty minutes later, I received an email with the reference numbers.

New Fellah was a pleasure to work with; his professionalism shined through as he was asked to step away from his typical duties to fill in for Passport Lady. He was thorough in his responses, and he listened to me when I had questions or comments. I hope my request to finish everything in Korea didn’t come off as mistrust for his abilities; I had other things that I was dealing with (pack out, kids in Florida, etc.) that needed my attention more.